Do you recognise the toy depicted on this sign? I have a childhood memory featuring a large wooden plank that would accommodate at least eight players. It came with a high risk that someone might fall off and hurt themselves.
Those were the days before warning signs. The danger added to the excitement.
Much later, I learned the science behind the seesaw game. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Or “What goes up must come down”.
What does this have to do with the writing journey? As one end of the seesaw rises towards the sky the other end drops towards the ground. For everyone involved, both on the way up, and again on the way down, there is a moment where the seesaw is in perfect balance. That is what I’m aiming for as a writer, that momentary perfection.
A seesaw needs more than one player to utilise it properly. Each person needs to negotiate with the other/s in order to anticipate actions and reactions.
Without readers, the writing adventure would have no momentum. Thanks for joining me in the game 🙂
In the last few weeks, I finished the first draft of Book 5 (When Promises are Forever) – possible release early 2021. I began negotiations about the cover for my first fantasy novella (pre-Christmas release) and received back the copy-edited Book 4 manuscript (Which Promise This Time?) which is scheduled for an early September release. I also brainstormed the opening chapters for Book 6 (no title yet). The accompanying up and down emotions have included confidence, self-doubt, anger, excitement, exhilaration and fear.
Writers are complicated souls. They work long solitary hours writing their stories. But after the story is published, they anticipate some kind of response from their readers. Without feedback, questions and comments from readers, the momentum can be lost.
That brings my reflections on balance to a close. Let me know if you have any suggestions for future posts. Until next time, I pray that you keep safe, achieve balance in work and play, and find time for reading.
My creative focus remains on the River Wild Series. At the moment, I have a fascination with moving bodies of water. That’s why my second post on balance has an ocean theme.
When life gets a little turbulent, my initial response is to retreat to the safety of the shore. Experience has taught me that I need strength and self-confidence if I am to maintain my balance when the waves are breaking. This realisation teaches me that, while I enjoy watching moving water, being moved by the waves has become a fearful thing. A reminder of all my limitations, which takes my eyes off the potential adventure and parks me on the shore of “I must not dare”.
God and I have been talking about how I can regain my self-confidence. There are parallels between my creative hesitancy and my physical wellbeing. I have a long-term infirmity that has kept me out of the waves for the past two summers. Here’s a photo of me – note the sensible walking shoes to avoid any possibility that I might trip or fall.
January 2019, Tiger Head Beach, Dodges Ferry, Tasmania
Anxiety was the catalyst for my initial injury and anxiety continues to sustain the problem. I find myself pausing before I step forward to help someone, wondering if I will have the strength to make it safely home when I am finished.
Anxiety also nibbles away at my writing success. Not even three self-published books on my bookcase are enough to keep me upright when anxiety rolls in, like a thundering wave, and sweeps me off my feet.
The balance that I am seeking is halfway between “I am too afraid to try” and “my reckless decisions come at too great a cost”. I want to get back into the water, and to be confident that I won’t drown.
For me, the answer includes making a stand with God at my side. I’m looking for that place of safety, where He holds my hand. If the waves threaten to pull me off my feet, His strength sustains me. He created the waves and can see the danger that is coming, and He asks me to trust in Him. In everything I write, that search for balance is there.
DO you have a favourite Scripture to help bring balance into your situation? Please share.
Sometimes all I need is a little treat to tide me over until the next meal. This “little carrot cupcake with cream cheese icing” photo was hiding in my photo archive. If I had one of these right now, it would only take me a moment to gobble it up. Then I could get back to writing my post without feeling guilty.
But I have a confession to make. If I had some of these little cakes in the pantry, and nobody to share with, I would probably eat them all. Of course, I would make myself walk to and from the kitchen for each one. That would remind me that I was being distracted from the tasks that I have on my today list. And if that didn’t work, then I would set myself a longer walk, and maybe even allocate a household task to complete on the way.
January 2019 site specific weaving, Blue Lagoon Conference Centre, Dodges Ferry, Tasmania, Australia. Recycled knitting yarn and balcony structure.
If I am left to myself, I can sit at the computer for hours without moving – except to eat. I’ve been trying this walk-to-eat strategy for a few years. I even used it for my final university art project in 2017. Visit my artist page here.
Finding the right balance between writing and researching how I’m supposed to do all the other things on this writing journey is a challenge. Sometimes, I get so involved in writing that I fall behind with my publishing schedule. At other times, it feels as if I’ve gone too far the other way… This is a different kind of weaving, the meandering to and fro while still keeping my eyes on the final direction.
And then there are the knots! Those little intersections of time and opportunity where everything seems to converge and I come to a standstill.
It is times like these that I return to Scripture. I believe that there will always be an answer to whatever is worrying me. Here is one of my favourites: Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my Shepherd. How does this apply to my situation? He leads and I follow. Like all “good sheep”, sometimes I get distracted, but He’s ready to call me back. If I get into trouble, He has a big shepherd’s crook to bring me out of the tangled mess I’m in. There are even a few times when He has to carry me. But my favourite times are when He runs along beside me, helping me discover the fun in this adventure.
DO you have a favourite Scripture to help bring balance into your situation? Please share.
The closer I get to self-publishing my first Romantic Suspense Novel, White Rose of Promise, the more unexpected little problems I encounter.
The most recent one took me a lot of time, and a whole treasury of emotional energy, to deal with. It derailed my progress in all of my writing activities. Long hours spent online ‘chatting’ to the Technical Support team took me on an adventure of discovery.
For those who have visited my page before, you may have noticed that the ‘my email isn’t working’ notification was up for a VERY long time. I was reasonably certain that I had made some foundational error, but didn’t have either the time or the emotional energy to deal with it in 2018.
A tricky problem
Turns out I was correct. The seventh ‘chat’ finally revealed that I had missed some basic information right at the start of setting up my account. An attempt to rectify the problem back then didn’t work, because the additional feature I was paying for was not attached to this page… It was NEVER going to work. All fixed now 🙂
As a writer, I am very interested in the emotional rollercoaster that accompanied this difficult lesson. The first time I contacted the Help Desk, I felt very anxious but confident that I had explained myself correctly. The second time, I was annoyed that the reassurances hadn’t come to anything. In fact, my situation was much worse – my whole web page went offline!
The third time, I was frustrated and impatient.
Something unexpected happened after that. The anxiety and anger dissipated, to be replaced by a lighthearted feeling of relief. I was able to sit at the computer with a smile on my face, and gratitude in my heart.
It didn’t seem to matter that I was losing writing time, only that someone was doing their best to help me. The worst case scenario had been fulfilled and rectified – my web page was back online, the links to my posts on my facebook page worked again, and eventually, the promise that my email would work would be fulfilled.
So what changed?
So what changed between the third and fourth ‘chat’? The helpful advisor told me that I ‘obviously’ hadn’t waited long enough for changes 1 and 2 to work, and said not to contact them again until I had waited 48 hours. So I did.
Please don’t think that I patiently waited during the remaining hours in silence. I petitioned heaven, both about my problem with the email and because the torrent of emotions and the accompanying fallout was wrecking my ability to deal with all the other daily struggles.
Only when I reached the end of the seventh ‘chat’ did I see the resolution to the email problem, but having my emotions flip to positive ones gave me patience and the expectation that everything was going to be fine )i(
Ezra’s words of wisdom: There is nothing a good prayer, a cup of hot chocolate, a cookie, and a friendly bear can’t fix )i(
Please comment!
I am signing off now. If you have the time, please help me celebrate the email account victory, by leaving me a comment. I would love to open my emails and find a notification to remind me that even the little problems have a guaranteed success. Chrissy )i(
December 31 2016 Two years ago my vision for the future had diminished to a network of textile fibre threads weaving within my domestic space. My feet moved, my hands wrapped the threads that stretched out behind me around the anchor points I had chosen, and I listened to how my heart was responding.
What had begun as an experiment for a Visual Culture unit on identity was about to transform the final Fine Arts project that would bring me to the end of my double major degree. The experiment involved finding a way to express my presence within my domestic space, a self-portrait without any human representation. Meanwhile, my major project was about finding a way to overcome the emotional blues. As I lost myself to the experiment, my heart recognised the significance of what I was experiencing.
I had worked with textiles for as long as I could remember. I had even used yarn to explain to groups of children the connections that each of us makes when we engage in social activities. But the jump from a craft material to a form of visual expression for contemporary art changed the way I see the world.
My research had taught me that successful recovery from depression required the sufferer to find a way to reconnect to the ordinary everyday world. To learn how to take something mundane and discover the beauty and wonder that would transform their worldview.
December 31st 2017 I was emotionally and creatively exhausted. The months since I had submitted my final university assignment had been filled with indecision and idleness. My Blue Skies: Chasing Away The Blues Exhibition was fading to a memory and I was waiting for God to show me what would follow.
Now my days were spent wondering when my Graduation Certificate and Year Book would arrive in the mail, and daydreaming about possibilities. I made a beginning on archiving all my study assignments, and I put my cameras and the vast collection of assembled materials into hidden corners.
December 31st 2018 This morning I was reading one of my online devotions and a familiar Scripture leapt off the page at me. This same Scripture had a dramatic effect on me before, a few years before God moved me from the rural community where I had established deep roots and thought I would live forever.
At that time, I had been satisfied that I was ministering and working at maximum capacity, and the revelation that God had something bigger in store shook the foundations of my busy world.
Isaiah 54:2 (WEB) Enlarge the place of your tent, and let them stretch out the curtains of your habitations; don’t spare: lengthen your cords, and strengthen your stakes.
As I look ahead to a new year, I have the threads of my recent endeavours trailing out behind me. Into the idleness of waiting, God had unlocked a hidden door, the dream to be a published author, long abandoned and almost forgotten. Unexpected. Unfamiliar. More than a little bit terrifying.
I have sat and listened as God has given me new story threads to add to my already complex weaving, and I have learned a lot more about who I am and the trace of my presence that I leave behind me in the world.
In 2018, I have engaged in three large textile weavings with children as enthusiastic participants, started this blog, written many words and gained new friends.
In 2019, I hope to self-publish White Rose of Promise and to have the sequel When Promises Are Broken follow the same journey. I have the outlines for another five stories hidden away and am working on the third manuscript now. There are a few obstacles to overcome: my fear and my limited resources (time and money).
In preparation, God is asking me to stretch my understanding of who I am so that I am ready to receive whatever 2019 brings to me )i(
It is my prayer that you, my readers, will have the door of opportunity open for you in the coming days, weeks and months. That you will take hold of the threads that you carry forward from 2018 and continue to weave your own marvellous tapestry.
Matthew 7:1 (WEB) [Jesus said,] “Don’t judge, so that you won’t be judged”.
Before you start thinking I am making an announcement OR write to tell me that this cover is terrible, I am going to say that the image is ‘just a test’.
For me, the word ‘test’ refers here to the process of putting one of my hundreds of ideas for the cover into a visual format and then sharing them with others to see how I respond to the feedback. The end result is that I should have a better idea of what works and doesn’t work from this cover design. How I respond to this test becomes my testimony.
1 Thessalonians 5:21 (WEB) Test all things, and hold firmly that which is good.
Luke 21:13 (WEB) It will turn out as a testimony for you.
Another test, same roses. no text Comments please?
If I had known the mountain ahead of me was so great, I might never have typed the first paragraphs for my manuscript White Rose of Promise. Then if I had realised that finishing the story was only the beginning of a much longer journey, I might have kept my creative writing to myself.
But God seems to have a bigger vision for me than I ever imagined for myself. Here I am writing a weekly blog for an unknown readership, people who will somehow find White Rose of Promise and come searching for more. It takes a small dose of courage to write a blog for friends, and I have been doing that with my Butterfly Prayer House Facebook page for a few years. My circulation is tiny in the scale of internet fame, and my followers are mostly silent. Very few of them even click ‘Like’ and even fewer send me a response.
Another test, aiming to make the rose look like a tattoo design. Have I managed that?
It takes more courage to share my creative writing with acquaintances, people who have some direct association with me, my family and my wider social network.
But I have been doing that for a few years, first when I joined some art groups while I was studying for my degree (Fine Arts and Visual Culture, I’m still very excited about that – does it show?), and now as I join creative writing groups.
At first, I chose carefully groups where I could predict a sympathetic audience. People who had more than creative writing in common with me. But lately, I have joined some broader groups.
The first time I posted in one group (for advice on medical trauma in fiction) the experience left me with my own trauma to deal with. The comments were neither kind nor helpful. I did the polite ‘thanks for your opinion, here is some clarifying information that may better explain why I am asking’ thing. I know I have perfected this ‘thing’ – an ability to shut down my emotional response and address the content dispassionately.
I had to learn how to achieve that for study. The steps are simple, be polite, be on topic, seek clarification… and then run off to one of the safe groups and seek comfort.
I said I had tested hundreds… this is closest to my original hand drawn sketch )i(
Naive would be a good way to describe me. This week, I shared the opening test design (white rose heart, red title) to a different group (one for people like me, trying to work out how to do a cover). I expected a better experience than the previous one I have mentioned.
Wrong.
Within a few minutes, a storm of comment notifications had me turning to the page eagerly. The first comment began with a blunt insult but by the time the responses had stopped, I realised that at least the person ended with a smiley face and a few words or encouragement.
Here is a summary of their comments: It was obvious that I didn’t know what I was doing. (True) I didn’t know what genre I was aiming for. (It was a mistake to include Romantic Suspense in my description, but I was wise in not adding the word Christian.) Where was the blood, the gun, the knife, the darkness, the dangerous man? And why did I have a rose?
One of many colour tests for one of my favourite ideas )i(
But the experience has taught me SO MUCH. The primary lesson was discovering my own resilience. God took my hurt feelings (I didn’t sleep well after reading some comments) and showed me the treasure that was hidden behind my responders’ passion. I found myself filled with joy that I had managed to elicit such powerful responses, and I sat down with laughter to write my ‘thank you’ comments. I was both surprised and delighted that I got replies.
If I was really brave, there are a few people who I would invite onto my team, because once I got past the criticism, we were able to have a helpful discussion.
Excuse the pixelation This was a VERY quick test
If you would like to be part of my closed facebook group for my creative writing project, start a conversation with me.
The past week has been a mixture of good experiences and bad. I have made some good progress on my second manuscript but also endured disappointment after losing a computer file that contained hours of research. I have needed to go back and start again, and some online references have proven elusive. The worldwide web continues to expand and even an hour can change the search engine results, especially if the right combination of keywords cannot be remembered…
This untitled digital drawing captures the emotional complexity of my feelings. How many different shapes can you find? I can see a raven, a bear, an owl and a butterfly when I focus on the orange markings.
Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV) “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
These two verses from Matthew 7 are powerful influences in my life. I used them as the foundation for my research approach when I was working on my year-long Fine Arts project that concluded in 2017. In the beginning, I thought I was going to make a series of still life paintings based on a collection of found objects, and set up a strict finding protocol. I could only spend $10 in a single visit to a shop, and each individual object could cost no more than $2.
My weekly visits to the local charity shops were profoundly rewarding, and the volunteers came to know me well and would ask how my blue collection was growing.
While I was collecting objects and taking hundreds of photographs looking for some new way of expressing a still life arrangement with my collected objects, I searched the internet for contemporary artists who were doing similar things. While I found very few who were painting still life arrangements, I stumbled upon a greater number of artists who were transforming everyday ordinary objects into works of art in diverse ways. That became the foundation for the multi-media performance installation that became my final outcome.
The same kinds of skills are necessary for me to write a convincing story. I am confident with character development, but my heroes and heroines need to inhabit an interesting world and have a diversity of experiences to keep me engaged. My second manuscript takes my heroine overseas, and once again I am ‘surfing the internet’ looking for inspiration…
Another of my experiments for an art project. This one is entitled “Wounded Paper” It is amazing where inspiration can come from )i(
Research takes up almost as much time as writing at the moment. The topics are diverse, and I am starting to build up a strong collection of helpful reference texts about the process of writing too. I will share a small sample here today. The first one is about punctuation in dialogue.
Here is an excellent prayer that I found while I was working my way through my subscription emails. As I try to find the right steps along the writing journey I am turning more and more to the words of others who have gone this way before )i(
The third and final one is about an art theory. The abstract images I have selected for today come from my interest in finding shapes in seemingly random markings. Have you looked up at the clouds and recognised shapes. That is Gestalt.
When I told my friends God had asked me to sit down and start writing fiction, some of them were surprised. They couldn’t see the natural connections between the research and development skills that I had been perfecting during four years of university study. Neither could I. Yet week by week, I am taken back to the art journey in my private prayer and reflections, and I am seeing more and more relevance with each passing day.
This is the unedited image of one of my favourite found objects for my Blue Skies:Chasing Away The Blues research project
To conclude my post for the week I will include some of the inspirational images I have created using variations of the two art experiments and the found object. It is my prayer that my readers will have success in all their seeking and finding and make good progress on their own onward journey of discovery )i(
